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A Time Of Renewal

Posted by on Dec 23, 2013 in Hamm's Blog | 0 comments

Christmas is upon us once again. I am not a religious person so it’s observance for me is lip service. New Years rings hollow for me as well. A construct and an excuse for a party.
To me winter solstice has a lot more meaning. This is the time when the sun dips lowest in the sky the day is shortest and the night long. Over the last three months the daylight has been dwindling and though they are for me often the most productive months ultimately solstice signifies the death of an old cycle and the beginning of a new one. When I’m in touch with this cycle of our planet as it arcs around our sun in the heavens, when I pay attention to the relationship of the moon, of the planets in the sky I’m more in touch with the ecosystem and the universe that I am apart of. When I feel the ebb and flow of life I feel more apart of and connected to the world around me.
In the past year I have dealt with much upheaval in my life. The death of a relationship and all the sorrow that brings. Change in friendships, shedding of old and an invitation to the new. I’ve mourned a lot of loss in my life past and present. But in through the act of grieving I’ve free up space for new experiences, new happiness and joy. I feel like I’m in the flow of life, swept along in it’s current but instead of feeling helpless this time I feel powerful. New challenges and projects have arisen and with that fear and doubt. This is normal but lately these barriers don’t seem as daunting.
In a few weeks I’m moving into a new home in a housing coop. There will be new surroundings, new people and new community. I’m looking forward to growing new relationships with others, with myself and the world around me. I’m looking forward to this new cycle of growth with excitement and wonder! So Merry Christmas everyone and I hope the New Year is full of new challenges and chances for growth for everyone!

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Connection

Posted by on Dec 12, 2013 in Hamm's Blog | 0 comments

Connection to others is what makes us tick. It’s what makes us happy gives us a sense of belonging. I’ve always struggled with connection. If someone is nice to me do I owe them something? If they do me a good turn am I obligated to reciprocate? What if they judge me? What if they tell me what I already know deep inside. That I’m a bad person.

Why do I think I’m a bad person? People love me. I make people laugh, I inspire, I make them smile. They tell me how much my actions make their life fuller. But I withdraw. I’m fearful. Because if they get to close they’ll figure what I’m truly made of. Why do I think this? Is it because I have weight issues? I didn’t finish University. I was always too distracted and anxious to finish my homework or even concentrate enough to take in the information. I was so dissociated from myself. a defence mechanism to so I didn’t have to face the sadness and hurt I felt inside after years of humiliation at the hands of my parents. I was a slob they told me. I’d never be able to go to University my grades weren’t good enough. I could never finish anything I started. I wasn’t driven enough. I was lazy.
No wonder I wanted nothing to do with people, or conversely I’d try so hard for people to like me, do exectly what I thought they might want me to do that I was too anxious to be around. And if they stayed around long enough I’d become resentful of them because they didn’t respond to my overtures the way I wanted them to. Didn’t they know I’d do anything to prove to them that I was a good person?

How sad this makes me feel. How many years I spent skimming the surface of emotion, of connection of relationship with others and myself.
A couple days ago I got together with some old friends. Bandmates from Tankhog. My hard hitting face melting protonewmetal band that I played with in the 1990s. We reminisced about the old days, telling stories about how the band got together, how we toured together. As we explored are hijinks together, we laughed, we felt some sadness but in those two hours we all went a little deeper emotionally than we ever did in the seven years we spent together as rock’n’roll infantry unit that we were.

Is it because I’m older that this is happening? Or is it the last ten years I have spent working my ass off to get in touch with myself. To questions and to challenge my beliefs about myself. To tap into the sorrow and the shame and to heal. I’m going to go with the latter. These days my life is calmer, my emotions are more even. For the most part gone are the intense emotional highs skirting the edges of hysteria and gone are the harrowing lows of depression. Nowadays these feelings are more tempered, more grounded and more rich. I’m grateful for my old friends, and I’m grateful for this albeit sometimes crazy life I lead for nowadays I get to feel connection to others and it was worth all the work and all the tears.

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Posted by on Dec 5, 2013 in About | 0 comments

POLAR BEAR CHALLENGE 2014!

On January 1 2014 Terry and Hamm, the Waddayagonnado boys will be taking part in the Annual Vancouver Polar Bear Swim at English Bay.

We will be hitting the chilly waters in hopes of raising our metabolic rate enough to burn off a few of those Christmas calories!

We’d like you to join us on the day of the swim to help document this momentus occasion. Whoever takes the best photo and shares it with us will be showered in prizes! You could win a Waddayagonnado T-shirt in the style of your choice from BangOn T-shirts, and a giant novelty cheque (value five dollars)! 
We will be posting weekly video updates of our journey as we prepare to take the plunge. So follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Waddayagonnad.com. This is gonna be fun. Stay tuned for more!

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Posted by on Dec 5, 2013 in Blog, Hamm's Blog | 0 comments

POLAR BEAR CHALLENGE 2014!

I’m excited to announce our first Waddayagonna publicity stunt! We’ve come up with our first ‘Offline-Online’ promotional idea; Take part in the Vancouver Polar Bear Swim on New Year’s Day.

It’s a culmination of ideas we’ve been exploring while doing what’s turned into quite the work load producing this podcast. It started when we were interviewing Margaret Doyle (her podcast will be posted shortly) who’s a social media marketing guru. One of the ideas she discussed was to stage a publicity event and get as many people out as possible to take pictures and tweet and Facebook the pictures to their friends. As a veteran of many publicity stunts (Tankhog crashing the Network Records Barbecue at Music West a few years back comes to mind) we seized on the idea. Another idea that we’ve been tossing around and that Terry practices is the idea that by taking cold showers you can increase your bodies metabolism and loose wait. As a portly gentleman this is something that’s constantly on my mind. So we decided to marry the two and came up with the idea of Waddayagonnado Polar Bear Challenge 2014!

So we invite you dear listener to join us at noon Wednesday January 1 2014 at English Bay for the Vancouver Polar Bear Swim. We will be hitting the chilly waters in hopes of raising our metabolic rate enough to burn off a few of those Christmas calories! We’d like you to join us to help document this moments occasion. Whoever takes the best photo will be showered in prizes! To start a Waddayagonnado T-shirt in the style of your choice from BangOn T-shirts, and a giant novelty cheque (value five dollars)!
Follow our journey as we prepare to take the plunge here at Waddayagonnado.com and on our Facebook and Twitter feeds.
This is gonna be fun. Stay tuned for more!

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Posted by on Nov 30, 2013 in Blog, Hamm's Blog | 0 comments

Linear Man vs. Digital Man

Earlier this week I was talking to Adrian Mack of the Georgia Straight.
“We’re linear men living in a digital world.” He says referring to Terry and mine’s efforts to develop and promote our podcast, Waddayagonnado. I was more adapt to say we are analog people trying to grasp a foot hold in the digital world. That sounds cooler to me! As a musician I have a fondest for the days of analog tape and analog synthesizers. The cold clean craftsmanship and late twentieth century craftsmanship and technology that went into crafting these machines. This was a world of news on the radio television and editorial pieces in the printed newspaper. I used to have an address book where I wrote down all my phone numbers. I’d go to the phone on the wall attached to wires and phone someone. Then I got a cell phone and then a smart phone.
Recently I caledl a friend who still has what is now called a ‘land line’. His wife picked up the phone.
“Is Jay there?” I asked? “Hang on” said his wife. I then heard her put down the receiver and yell”Jay, telephone!“ I hadn’t heard this in awhile. I heard the ambience of the room when she yelled for Jay, I heard his distant rustlings of acknowledgement in the distant and the sounds of approaching foot steps and then the old familiar clunking sound as Jay picked up the receiver. “Hello?” I felt a nostalgia, for this was a ‘linear’ event I used to participate in a number of times everyday. But now this happens perhaps once or twice a month or however many times I call my one or two friends who still have stationary phones. Nowadays the person you specifically call pulls his or her phone out of their pockets and answers. And often they have this device in hand already because they are looking at the small screen checking a text, an email or their social media account.
Gone are those pauses in the day waiting for someone to ‘come’ to the phone. I feel some sadness around this. This is one way I’ve witnessed our world get faster and faster. There are less pauses now. Communication is more immediate these days, stress and anxiety increase as you are expected to answer immediately.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve fully embraced the new technologies. Yesterday is was waiting for one of our podcasts to upload on my desktop computer while I edited video on my laptop and received a text on my iPhone! I text and email more now than I call people. So I have to be careful. I have found myself becoming isolated. I have friends on Facebook and followers and people I follow on Twitter but I have to remember to hold on to those linear connections where we meet one on one as in person, or even have conversations on the telephone. It’s important to hold onto the analog world just to remember to be and feel human and to be amongst the other humans sharing experiences, dreams and ideas because this is truly where I feel connected.

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